Wednesday 3 July 2013

To Zorah From Ayaan


(An Unsaid & Unposted Love Story)


I still wonder, how a careless person like Ayaan, has kept that unposted postcard with utmost care, deep down in that dusty & rustic iron valise , under the red Kashmiri blanket. The card was more than a help for his mind, to travel along those muddy pathways of the past, once again. Those were the only memories which he never shared with his wife Fathima and son Aamir. He walked with the support of his walking stick towards the mirror. He wondered how time has brought wrinkles on his face and hair turned grey, but also that he had dressed neatly. Love has changed him above time, the love for Zorah...

As he leaned over the wooden chair in the backyard for an afternoon nap, he remembered, how a wild guy like him, use to dress up neat and tidy and comb those oily and spiky grasslands, just to get a glance of Zorah on the by lanes to school. Even the breeze was gracious to carry the smell of Cuticura talcum powder, the harbinger of her arrival. How he used to consciously talk with his friends, so that the teacher make him sit near her, as a blessed punishment. Just like any another romantic hero of the 80’s, after schooling as his Baapa expired, the responsibility of the family was laid on his lean shoulders. Even then he used to wait for that rare breeze, though she had left for higher studies.

The days and dates on the wall calendar, changed, the muddy by lanes got tarred, technological developments ran through electric veins, even then it was the same for Ayaan, who had no means to express himself to Zorah. After a week or so, the village rumoured that Zorah has an affair with a guy of her college. The very next week, Ayaan’s family too got an invitation of her marriage, to her distant cousin in Dubai...

He wondered, how on a Ramadan day, he gathered all his courage, and stole a one rupee coin, from his Umma’s Afghani leather lap purse, to buy a postcard. But it lay, unaddressed forever, in the iron valise of Ayaan.

A sparrow woke him up. He confirmed that Fathima and Aamir are not at home. He hurriedly opened the valise, took the postcard out. With his shivering hands he moved his finger on those illegible Urdu words “Taraf Zohrah... Minjaanib Ayaan” (To Zorah from Ayaan)


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This is in response to the WriteTribe Contest #1 and also linking this post to the UltimateBlogging Challenge.

51 comments :

  1. Sreedev that was awefum!!!
    I dont know why am I able to feel the essence of what Ayaan felt and carried with him all his life.. It never happened with me..
    Maybe it is your powerful imagery through words...
    Do take part in this challenge everyday..Would like to read the stories of your mind :)

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  2. Sreedev, this is my first time here. You have written such a beautiful story. I could actually imagine the whole thing as if it were a scene played in front of my eyes.

    I like the way you have used the seven words. They blend in so well. Just remember to underline them. Since your blog background is dark, it is a little difficult to find them.

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    1. Thank you for the encouragement. Yeah I too found it a bit difficult to make out the given words. I will underline it...

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  3. And there is yet another love story that came out. Did a particular someone pester you this time also? ;)
    I'm glad that you are participating in the UBC too... that gives you an exercise to flex those writing muscles of yours :D

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    1. Oh Thank you Bhavya...well said about muscles...soon I will be Mr.Kerala then.

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  4. How sad that Ayaan's true love went unfulfilled. This story has great imagery; especially of the dusty old postcard. Great post and good luck in the contest. :-)

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  5. I can feel the pain of Aayan and his longing for Zohrah. nice writing.

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  6. So poignant and beautifully written.

    Dropping by from the write tribe linkup

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  7. I like the story, so beautiful and well written. :) An unsaid love, and unposted postcard.

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  8. It is beautiful!
    This pain is unspeakable and yet you have managed to capture it in words.

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  9. Greatly rendered dear Soman. Awesome....It is much wonderful when we know that you had to stitch all your emotions and the sentiments within such restricted parameters of the contest.....Incredible....Good wishes for the contest...

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  10. Sree loved it nice and well said

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  11. you are the "king of Emotions". Be it your poetry or your writings, no one has expressed emotions better.

    amazing writeup Sreedev.

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    1. OMG! Jiggyasa...that was a bit too much yaar...but thank you for the encouragement...

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  12. Really Beautiful portrayal of emotions :) Loved reading it!

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  13. What a well written story...I am a sucker for love stories...and this goes too well with me...Thanks :)

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  14. Nice story. Well written Sreedev :)

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  15. A poignant story of unfulfilled love. :)

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  16. Aaah! i guess in everybody's life there is such a story.
    You really have caught the essence. Enjoyed everything about it. Thrilled to reminisce the fragrance and the song 'Cuticura, powder mera, foolon keeyee mehak mein rachaa, taaza rakhe mujhe saara din...' yeah that's how the jingle went on the radio in Hindi.
    Sigh!
    Gr8 read and after Lootera yesterday am wondering if first crush is the real love...times pass...things change but what does not change is the Thandi aaanhain ( long drawn cool sighs) for that which the heart still calls,' The first love'.
    Yours was short and sweet but i wish u could read another story too...although a really long one called
    'Madhumalati'. If u do then u will understand that i'm not speaking just like that. And that Ayaan's story is universal...even maybe eternal. Thanks for sharing.:)

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    1. ho...Thank You Shivani...haven't seen Lootera yet... now would like to, also would like to read Madhumalati...but you know, you should always be able to differentiate between love and infatuation...every time what happens first may not be love...love is sacred.

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  17. Beautiful and very well written!

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  18. Nicely written and expressed!! Brought out the emotions exceptionally well... :)

    Dropping by WriteTribe contest..

    All The Best!

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  19. Hmm...I thought I commented...Sorry.

    I was in love with the story when I read it..and it was hard for me to forget it to write my own take on the words ;) .

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  20. This is indeed a wonderful story, Sreedev. I am touched.

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  21. Hi Sreedev! You've created an interesting story with the prompt! I enjoyed reading it!

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  22. Thanks for participating in the contest, Sreedev. I like the way this story went!

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  23. ooh the feels.. Wonderful

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  24. I loved your sweet and sad story. Very touching.

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